An Inner Conviction

Neville 03-15-1968

AN INNER CONVICTION

I tell you that imagination creates reality and I ask you to imagine a state, any state, which would imply the

fulfillment of your desire. It doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks; it’s what you think that matters to

you! If you create a scene which implies the fulfillment of your desire and dwell in it until you have an inner

conviction that it is real, what does it matter what another thinks?

In the Book ofHabakkuk (whichmeans “to embrace”) the prophet speaks to the Lord as: “Thou who art of

purer eyes than to behold evil.” Then he asks the question: “Why are you silent when the wicked swallows up

the righteous? I will take my stand upon the watchtower, to see and hear what people say to me and what I

will answer.” Now the Lord speaks, saying: “Write the vision plain upon the tablets so that he who runs may

read it. For the vision has its own appointed hour; it ripens and it will flower. If it be long, then wait, for it is

sure and it will not be late.”

There are those who try to rush everything into being. They try to force birth from conception, but it cannot

be done. There are many experiences not recorded in scripture, and I am not here to stand in judgment of

anyone as to whether they have experienced scripture or not. But I do know from experience that on this

level, if you dare to assume you are what you want to be, your inner conviction, your feeling of certainty will

bring it to pass. When you embrace the desired state, you have assumed its impregnation, and its fulfillment

has its own appointed hour. It will ripen and flower. If the state is slow in objectifying itselfwait, for it is sure

and will not be late.

I know that when I was told I could not get out of the island of Barbados for at least sixmonths and I desired

to leave immediately, I assumed I was walking up the gangplank of the ship. I felt the dampness of the rail

and tasted the salt air of the sea with the feeling of certainty that I was leaving for America. I made that

gangplank so real that I hadn’t even broken the spell before the phone rang and I was offered passage for the

following week. Although I had been told that I was on the bottomof a list of over two thousand names, my

family and I were singled out to board that ship. So I know that the truth of any concept is known by the

feeling of a certainty, a peculiar knowingness that it is true.

You can take this same concept into all levels of your being, for any desire is a concept. You canmove into

any desire and express it. Ask no one if you are entitled to it or if you did it – only you know what you did. It

happened to you. Now wait for the vision (the desire’s fulfillment) for it has its own appointed hour. It ripens,

it will flower. If it seems long then wait, for it is sure and it will not be late.

Returning to the overall picture of God’s rising inMan, let us go back to the Book of Exodus, where we are

told: “The time that the people of Israel dwelt in Egypt was four hundred and thirty years. And at the end of

four hundred and thirty years, on that very day all the hosts of the Lord departed from Egypt. It was a night

ofwatching by the Lord.” ThenMoses is told to keep this night inmemory.

Scripture teaches a mystery. “Great indeed is the mystery of our religion.” The word “mystery” is defined as

“a religious truth revealed by God that man cannot by reason alone discover.” Here is a doctrine of revealed

truth.

We are told in the 15th chapter ofGenesis that “You and your descendants will be enslaved for four hundred

years.” Now, the number four hundred is the twenty-second letter of the Hebrew alphabet whose symbol is

the cross. Your body (of beliefs) is the cross referred to as four hundred, and as long as you wear it you are

enslaved in a land that is not yours. But in the end you will be brought out with great possessions!

In the 12th chapter of Exodus, thirty years has been added to the four hundred, and in the New Testament it

is said that Jesus began his ministry when he was about thirty years of age. In this world you are enslaved,

and here you remain playing your part until you are embraced, impregnated, and thirty years later Christ is

born in you and your trials and tribulations are over! So four hundred does not mean years, but thirty does.

Four hundred records the length which Blake calls 6,000 or 8,500 years. Call it what you will, it is the period

of time man plays his part in this world. Then comes the moment when, as Man, you are selected, called and

embraced, and told to stand upon your watch; for the sign has its own appointed time to ripen and to flower,

and that time is thirty years!

My friend, Benny, does not remember the embrace, but I remember it well. It was in 1929. I was fully aware

of the embrace, just as I was fully aware of its fulfillment in 1959, so I can tell anyone from my own

experience how it happens, but I can’t tell you when if you cannot remember the embrace. Only after

impregnation can I prophesy as to what, and when these things will come into being.

But I do know that God’s law reflects all the way down to this world of Caesar. I do not know how long it

takes for each egg to hatch in a nest, but I do know each one will hatch in its own time. And so it is with an

assumption. If I desire to be wealthy, I may not know how long it will take me to reach the conviction that I

possess great wealth, but when I feel wealth is mine I have conceived. Conception is my end. The length of

time between my desire and its conception depends entirely upon my inner conviction that it is done. A horse

takes twelve months, a cow nine months, a chicken twenty-one days, so there are intervals of time; but it

comes down to the simple fact that the truth concerning every concept is known by the feeling of its certainty.

When you know it, not a thing can disturb your knowingness!

Inmy own case, as I felt the gangplank under my feet and the salt mist on the rail of the ship in Barbados, the

phone rang and passage was mine. There have been other times when it has taken longer. Unfortunately we

do not keep an account to see how long it takes to come about after we have done it. But a concept is an

egg and remains so until occupied. Occupy your desire! Feel its certainty and you can prophesy its fulfillment.

Although I did not know what would become of it, I kept a record of what happened to me in 1929, so

when I was born from above and raised from within myself in 1959, I looked back to discover that it was

thirty years. I discovered that Jesus began his ministry when he was thirty years of age, and that Israel made

their exodus thirty years after the four hundred recorded in Genesis. We are going to celebrate this exodus in

the immediate future as the Passover, “a day to keep in memory forever.” For “this is a night ofwatching by

the Lord. On this day the Lord will bring the entire host of Israel out of the land of Egypt” and they will come

out one by one. So if someone tells me a story that is not part of my experience, I cannot confirm it or deny

it; I only know that my experiences parallel scripture.

But I say to you: everything has its own appointed time. It ripens and will flower. If fulfillment seems long,

wait, for it is sure and will not be late. Everything comes on time, but we do not know the time interval

because we do not record the conception. In my case, I keep a diary. I check scripture to find out where the

passage is that I have experienced and record the date beside it. Now I know the length of time it takes to

fulfill scripture. I also know that when it comes to the world of Caesar, I have received confirmation while in

the silence. I have exploded right into the now and, having felt the thrill I knew it had to happen, but I did not

know when. It could be a day, a week, or a month. Three weeks ago I heard good news for a friend, and

today I received confirmation that it was completed. I will not catalog that event to say that particular desire

equals all desires, because a desire can be as different as a chicken’s egg is fromthe egg of an elephant. I do

know, however that events of scripture do have definite time periods. Scripture fulfills itself in God’s time,

and you cannot delay it or hasten its coming.

A friend wrote me this week, saying: “I found myself sitting at a table looking at a beautiful plate containing a

raw steak, when I heard the words, ‘Eat it’. Obeying the command I then heard voice say, ‘You have eaten

the body ofGod.’” This lady has fulfilled the 51st to 56th verses of the 6th chapter of the Book of John: “My

flesh is the bread of life. He who eats thereof has eternal life.” She has completely eaten the body of revealed

truth and eternal life is now hers. I cannot tell her when she will be called, but she has accepted the revealed

truth, which is the body ofGod.

Another letter came, telling of how this lady spent the day working on her husband’s books. She was so very

tired that as she fell asleep, she said: “Father, I cannot take every aspect of the day and change it, but I can

imagine that it never happened.” So she began to create a scene which would imply that all the problems of

the day were resolved, when out of the nowhere she saw an enormous scene of mountains clothed with

magnificent trees. As she watched, she discovered that her mental activity caused the trees to move. And that

the world pictured on the outside adjusted itself to be in harmony with her thoughts. Then she said “I came to

the conclusion that my God is a God of action, for I saw everything I was imagining taking place now. I feel

as though the world is moving in me like being on parade.” That’s how God sees Man. We are forever

adjusting to his perfect being. He is looking out, yet everything is taking place within.

Tonight I ask you to take the most fantastic thing in this world and find an inner conviction within yourself that

it is yours, for the truth of any concept is known by the feeling of certainty which that conviction inspires.

Once you have that inner feeling of certainty, don’t ask me to confirmit. What would it matter what I think?

Do not be disillusioned if your experience has not beenmine. Believe in yourself and trust your inner feeling.

Test yourself and if it works on this level it willwork in the depths of your being.

If, inmy imagination I climb a gangplank, and as I look with nostalgia at the little island of Barbados and the

phone rings, offering me the passage I desire, am I not influencing my outer world? Was the phone call not

reflecting my mental activity? I arrived at the point of feeling a peculiar certainty, and that certainty was its

inspiration.

You can always tell the truth of any concept by the feeling of certainty which it inspires. When you imagine

seeing the world as you desire it to be and are inspired as to its truth, it doesn’t matter what anyone else

thinks. I don’t care what it is; when you know what you want, you canmake your desire so real, so natural

that you will reach a feeling of certainty which no power in the world can stop. When that feeling is yours,

drop it. Don’t ask anyone ifwhat you did was right or wrong; you did it and that’s all that is necessary.

Now let me share the letter I received fromBenny. He said: “Friends ofmine (Negroes), a man and his wife,

invited me to a party. On the way we stopped at their home, where a group of Caucasians in their teens were

having a party. Suddenlymy friends appeared in the doorway, coat and hat in hand, and said, ‘You stay and

mind the children.’ I was shocked, but turned to look at the boys and girls, when out of the nowhere a blond,

blue-eyed, fair skinned lad came toward me, and as I looked at himI knew he was David. He looked me in

the eye and said, ‘I know that our Father will never leave us.’ At that moment I knew my son David, yet I

also knew I fathered them all. This was onWednesday. The following Friday as I told this experience to my

friends, I awoke to discover that I had been dreaming, for I awoke onmy bed.”

Here is the doubling of a dream, the confirmation as told us in the 41st chapter ofGenesis. Now, you cannot

violate the story of scripture. David is described in the 16th chapter of 1 Samuel, and you will not change this

description no matter who you are. The Christ child is not described, for he can be black, pink, white, or

yellow. There is no description of Jesus either, but I will tell you who he is. He is the Ancient of Days as

described in the Books ofDaniel and Revelation. When you see David, he is the youth of the ancient one he

observes. Benny is now wearing a very dark skin, but in the eyes of his fair skinned, blond and blue-eyed son

David, Benny is the Ancient of Days, the Holy One of Israel. The one we recognize and call Benny now

knows himself to be the Risen Lord. Now I will tell him that on the 8th day of July he will be split in two from

top to bottom. I know, for the vision has its own appointed hour, it ripens, it will flower. If it seems long, wait,

for it is sure and will not be late.

Now the Book of Ezekiel begins: “In the thirtieth year the heavens opened and I saw visions ofGod.” Ezekiel

gives you a day and a month, meaning nothing. The important thing is that in the 30th year the heavens

opened and visions of God were his. “And as I looked, behold, a stormy wind.” That’s exactly what

happens. An unearthly wind comes in that thirtieth year, and you are born fromabove, born anew through the

resurrection of Jesus Christ fromthe dead. Jesus Christ is God’s pattern of salvation buried in you. His death

in the most literal sense is your life, and his resurrection is possible only after he impregnates himself.

God the sender and Man the sent are one. Falling in love with the one he sent, God impregnates him. He

plants his seed, which takes thirty years to germinate and [is] his mission to start. This experience comes to

Man after he has borne his cross in this wilderness world for thousands of years. In spite of the horrible things

that take place in the world, when the individual is called and embraced, what does it matter what he has to

go through before he awakens? In a short period of only 30 years he will be born into an entirely different

age, for during that time he is taken out of this age and placed in that age, the age of the kingdom of heaven.

Now, because you know this concept, don’t feel that you are better than someone else, you are creative

power. Stand upon your tower and watch to see what God will say and how you will answer. Do this by

assuming you are the person you want to be and seeing what you would see if your assumption was real.

Remain there until you feel its certainty, until you reach the point of satisfaction, until you are convinced of its

truth; and although the world may collapse around you, you will become that which you have assumed you

are.

In the 21st chapter of the Book of John it is said that if all things were told concerning Jesus Christ, the world

itself could not contain the books; so do not think that because I have not had your experience, that it is not

true – but do not try to force me into accepting it. Believe what you choose and go your way this night. My

pattern has followed scripture completely, fromthe embrace to the descent of the dove, but I amnot saying it

is the only way.

I amsaying, however, that you can be the man (or woman) you want to be, but not by simply wishing. You

must make the effort to look at the world mentally and see it reflect your fulfilled desire. And when it does

you must remain in that state until you reach the inner conviction that what you are seeing, touching, tasting,

smelling, and hearing is true, clothe yourself in the feeling of its reality – and explode! Do that and you are

pregnant. And what do you do after pregnancy? Nothing! You simply wait for its birth to appear in its own

appointed hour. And it will! When you least expect it your desire will objectify itself in the world for you to

enjoy, whether it be health, wealth, or fame. That’s how God’s law works.

Now, to the one who had this experience the other night, I know you are anxious to give it birth right away,

but what is thirty years in this fabulous eternity? You were awake when it happened, and you will never lose

its memory. Should you depart tonight to find yourself a young lady of twenty, you would only be fifty when

you brought forth the Christ child. Then you would see the complete pattern fulfill itself in three and a half

years and enter a new age, which is the world of eternity. My dear, you are destined to know departure from

this world of death and entrance into the world of eternal life as you move from darkness into light. But your

reaction was natural.

It reminded me of a story I heard in New York City. This young girl came rushing into the subway, and

standing in front of a gentleman she said: “Would you please let a pregnant lady have your seat?” Jumping up,

terribly disturbed, the gentleman said: “When is the baby expected?” And she replied: “I don’t know, it just

happened.” But this lady knows it will be thirty years, but what is thirty years when you have been called, you

have been selected, you have been chosen. You are one of the elect!

Now let us go into the silence.

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